TV is the New Reading

‘Marriage Ref’ not as bad as you’ve heard

There’s genius lurking someplace in this equation, but don’t tell the critics.

To start with, people like celebrities, and they like gossiping about people’s marriages, which together right there is nearly the entire stock in trade for “TMZ” and the E! network. They also like sneaking peeks and being frankly horrified by other people’s private lives, which encompasses most of the reality shows out there.

Boil it all together with an affable host and a campy ‘50s horn section and you’ve got NBC’s big band bombshell “The Marriage Ref.”

As producer Jerry Seinfeld explains in the opening credits, host and “marriage ref” Tom Papa is basically a comedian friend of his who is willing to listen to both sides of an argument and make a ruling, with input from a panel of celebrity experts. As Papa said, “We’re going to watch real couples in the middle of real arguments and we’re going to give them the one thing they’ve always wanted -- a winner!”

Papa said he has been married for 10 years, and that his best advice is to keep things simple. People put too much pressure on marriage, he said.

“Your soulmate doesn’t exist,” he said. “Find someone you can tolerate. Keep it simple. Find someone you can sleep next to without throwing up and marry them.”

He then introduces the panel of celebrity experts. “In the opinion of our show, if you are, been, just got or are getting out of marriage, we consider you an expert,” he said. Panels have featured Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, Kelly Ripa, Eva Longoria and Jerry Seinfeld.

Reviews

The reviews are decidedly opposed.

“They toe the line but don’t commit,” one said. “Painfully bad,” wheezed National Public Radio. Another said it was just awful, and still others complained it was simply not funny. One went so far as to say the two episodes that have aired -- by themselves -- negate the success of “Seinfeld.”

Really? Couples arguing over stuffing, mounting and enshrining a beloved pet, or trotting out their obsessive compulsions concerning an in-house furniture showroom, or bickering over the installation of a stripper pole in the boudoir -- that’s worse than ... all the other television that’s out there?

I would disagree. I’ve seen and sat through much worse. It’s as if critics see the name “Seinfeld” and envision droll quips, hilarious interactions and satisfying story arcs. Then what they get is normal people having normal squabbles and celebrities riffing on them. Add a native cynicism regarding marriage and they dive right past “The Newlywed Game” and head straight into “The Gong Show.”

It’s not great television, but it’s hardly the death knell for the medium the critics are making it out to be either.

For their trouble, participating couples receive a ruling on whatever they’re squabbling about and a second honeymoon aboard a cruise ship, which I imagine should be a good enough prize for anyone. There’s some fun, there’s some spectacle, there’s a little bit of scandal, the viewing public gets a peek at celebrities discussing ordinary people’s problems and the couples get a free vacation. Relax and enjoy.

“The Marriage Ref” airs at 9 p.m. Thursdays on NBC.

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