A children's comedy
in one act
and several scenes

by Terry J. Aman

Dramatis Personae
(the people in the cast)
Pam, a director
Ethan, a poet
Jenny, a singer
Mandy, a dancer
Brendan, a musician
Justin, a musician 
Hannah, a painter
Toby, a stagehand 
Clytemnestra, a witch

Various dancers, singers, painters and stagecrew.

SCENE ONE – Excerpt

AT RISE: A theater setting with a stage-within-a-stage construct (see STAGE CONSTRUCTION). MANDY and her DANCERS are working through a kicky, twirly part of their routine. JENNY, BRENDAN and JUSTIN are going over the music and HANNAH and HELPERS are painting part of the stage, which is partially constructed. ETHAN is pacing back and forth furiously clutching a script. The lines should probably overlap a little.

LIGHTS UP

MANDY: One, two, three, KICK, twirl, two, three, KICK, spin, two, three ...

ETHAN: (To no one in particular) She's not going to get away with it.

MANDY: No, that's not right. I'm not feeling it. It has to be on the beat.

DANCER1: How can we?

DANCER2: There is no beat.

DANCER3: There is no music.

DANCERS: Miss Mandy.

JENNY: There will be soon enough.

MANDY: Keep going. One, two, three ... (Keep going, but quietly, except for the "KICK"s, heading off the stage-within-a-stage area)

JENNY: I'm just trying to get this in a different key.

BRENDAN: I'm playing this as high as I can.

JENNY: That's just it. It needs to be lower.

MANDY and DANCERS: (Dance off the stage-within-a-stage space, but you can still hear MANDY)

JUSTIN: I'm playing lower.

ETHAN: (Confronting them) That's not low. It's flat. You're playing flat.

TOBY and HELPERS: (Carries on part of the stage-within-a-stage, starts setting it into place right where the dancers just went off)

BRENDAN: Just a minute. It's not flat if the key is flat.

ETHAN: MY KEY ISN'T FLAT!

PAM: (Enters, all businesslike, with clipboard) Sorry I'm late.

ETHAN: YOU!

JENNY: Miss Ketowicz, I'm ...

ETHAN: (Waving the script at PAM) WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

PAM: One at a time. (Points to JENNY) You first.

ETHAN: Oh, that's just like you. Jenny gets all the attention because she's the singer.

PAM: She has Juilliard training, and she is the star of the show.

ETHAN: There wouldn't be a show without me, and quite frankly there might not be.

PAM: We open in two weeks.

ETHAN: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SCRIPT?

PAM: Ethan, hush. Jenny, what's the matter?

JENNY: (Almost apologetically) I don't mean to complain, Miss Ketowicz, but some of these songs are a little bit out of my range.

ETHAN: It's not fair to change things now.

BRENDAN: If I could just step in here to say ...

ETHAN: Quiet, you! (To PAM) I wrote this script and I wrote this music and if these no-talent hacks with their jellybean training

PAM and JENNY: Juilliard training!

ETHAN: ... can't handle it ...

MANDY: KICK! (DANCERS kick TOBY'S stage down on top of HANNAH, who crashes through the paper she just painted)

MANDY: No, DON'T kick!

ETHAN: MY STAGE!

PAM: Hannah! Are you all right?

HANNAH: (Runs off stage sobbing)

PAM: TOBY!

TOBY: (Enters, looking at the devastation) Jeepers ...

PAM: Toby, go see if Hannah's all right.

ETHAN: She's NOT all right! NONE of you are all right! (To DANCERS) You're ruining my show!

PAM: They're fine.

MANDY: I'm sorry. We haven't worked this routine with the stage up before.

ETHAN: You haven't worked this routine with the stage up now.

DANCER1: The wall

DANCER2: Wasn't there

DANCER3: Before,

DANCERS: Miss Ketowicz.

PAM: Ethan, please. Jenny, you work with Brendan and Justin to get the song the way you can sing it. Mandy, you and your dancers ... rework that entrance. And now. Ethan.

ETHAN: Do I understand this correctly?

PAM: Ethan, look ...

ETHAN: You cut the whole number about love, caring and understanding. THIS WHOLE SHOW IS ABOUT LOVE, CARING AND UNDERSTANDING!

PAM: And I wanted to show a little to our audience. It's six pages long and it just repeats what the whole cast has been saying all the way through.

ETHAN: IT MAKES IT REAL!

PAM: This is a show. It's a musical. It's not an opera.

ETHAN: That song is what keeps it from being an after-school special.

TOBY: (Entering) Hannah’s all right. She just needed to get herself cleaned up. Now, what am I going to do about this stage?

PAM: Just make sure there's a clean entrance on that side.

TOBY: Right, Miss Ketowicz.

ETHAN: I've got all my money invested in this show. If you can't handle it ...

PAM: I'm handling it, Ethan.

ETHAN: I don't think you are. As of this moment, Mosquito-wits, you are fired!

PAM: FIRED?

ETHAN: That's right. I'm taking over. (Grabs clipboard) No one can realize my great vision for "Bee Bop," my great Broadway production, except for me.

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