"Hi dad."
Five letters, a space and a dot bracketed within quotation marks in a circular
sweep arcing an episode -- and, as it happens, three seasons.
Before we get into how the entire series becomes focused like as unto a laser
upon the unexplained mystical child of two vampires, let's explore a couple
things with our old friends The Powers That Be! Oh yes, here they are, sipping
margaritas at the side of a pool in Mazatlan. You guys have anything to say?
The PTB: Um,
hello. Oh yes. * ahem * Something is going to attack Angel. Or, y'know,
maybe the Groosalaug, after Cordy's done playing dressup with him.
tjaman:
Really? Something, huh? Sounds exciting. What's it look like?
The PTB: *
sip * Is that important?
Of course not. You guys get some rest.
You're looking exhausted after about six episodes or so of NOTHING.
Yes, it's true. Welcome to "A New World." One imagines there are no
cars or hotel lobbies in Qor'toth and Vincent looked obligingly disoriented.
But he found a darkly vomitous pile of filth to wallow in soon enough, and hey
-- junkie castoffs.
How Danny must've clucked his tongue about the condition of Stephen's chamois
suit. "Put some polish on those teeth, son. I wanna see my face in the
remains of that Kaldroch demon when you're done."
The ear made for better storytelling, of course, and opened the wonderful line
"I DON'T HEAR SO GOOD!" but in the name of parallel structure, Stevie
Wonder there really ought to have performed some grisly, uninsured dentistry on
him. It's just hard to make setting a bridge sound like blood vengeance.
Joss is a master of camerawork. So those cheesy zoom cuts during Connor's
traffic surfing must've been just winceworthy.
Sunny, sadly, not the most developed of characters. Since it's obvious they
were planning a lot of stuff ahead (or at least tracking back to figleaf one or
two loose ends), they should've had her get herself vamped somehow, and have
her stand in as the vampire who saw Connor dump Angel in the drink, so that
Connor could stake her dramatically. "Thank you for introducing me to this
world," he could've said at the beginning of S4, and then * thunk * *
dust *
But then, of course, no morality play about the dangers of drug abuse.
The presence of Connor is a result of a rip in spacetime. A big cosmic
no-no.
One moment please. Let me join in a warm standing ovation for Mistress Myrna.
Anyone got a lasso and some Krazy Glue? Just kidding, hon, you're a riot.
Just as well. What with everything else Wes has been through, there's no reason
to ask him to get some schmutz in his eye.
Lilah: "The lowest point in hell is reserved for those who betray. Don't
pretend you're too good to work for us."
Y'know, his meeting with Lilah was delightful, but even Stephanie Romanov can't
convince me Wes has done anything worthy of exile. The first time I heard that
line I thought: "Cool!" But now, on rewatching it, it's so, I dunno, scripted.
But him picking up the book and looking at Satan, he's definitely thinking
about it.
Someone was saying that Wes had no marketable skills. His abilities as a
researcher would be invaluable. And, of course, there's always the food court
in "Life on a Stick."
But I digress.
Angel tracking Connor took too long, but I get it. I loved him waking up. There
was a lot of his character illustrated in drawing two knives on being startled
awake.
Any introduction to Connor is going to include gobs and gobs of liquid
violence, and he did not disappoint. From his first moments in the lobby where
he dispatched the demon beast without moistening a sweat gland, he's been the
very model of a modern sullen teen, lashing out in every direction. And Angel
nearly cut his throat before coming to himself and realizing what he'd very
nearly done (that blade was sharp and digging into his neck).
It made him really cranky.
Then the epic battle with a drug pusher. And his epic battle with Angel in the
squalid abandonded apartment building. Then the veritable Italian opera of Ty
demanding blood vengeange for his slicing off his ear. Then their scuttling
away through a broken window.
PTB: * sip *
And the open rift, in which we learn that Groo was a virgin until his epic
off-camera comshukery (just as well, having seen the statuesque females in
Pylea).
SONG BREAK!
Pylea ... I just met a girl
from Pylea ...
She has the most exquisite facial hair ...
None can compare ...
Even the bearded circus lady ...
PYLEA!
But we also learn that the Groo can be really passive aggressive. And Cordy
looking away from him during that kiss gave the lie to "You're the only
creature from another dimension I'm interested in."
Pull the other one.
Anyway, with that rift still open through which Holtz ... * punch! *
Connor: You don't get to post that name! You don't even get to think it!
Sorry. * rubbing jaw * Jeez, the Thought Police in the Qor'toth, what?
Anyway ... that guy comes though, and he's aging like a bowl of fruit,
crumbling in front of us, and oh yeah -- this is why I hate this guy.
Connor's ...
Connor: Stephen.
Yes, yes, Stephen's got such an intuitive read on Sunny, and yet in 17
years of emotional abuse in a hell dimension, he can't figure out that maybe
his "daddy's" a little obsessed with this Angel person, might not be
the most balanced individual, but -- well, maybe the most balanced he's ever
met ...
But fighting aside, Connor ...
Connor: STEPHEN!
Quiet, you. Connor shows up, there's breathable atmosphere (or what
passes for it in L.A.), there's warmth, there's sunlight, greenery, life and
beauty, and he hides in a box. The one person who shows him a tiny slice of
kindness (his entire tongue woke up when he tasted chocolate for the first
time) turns up dead from an overdose, there's death and squalor and decay
surrounding him ...
Home sweet freeqin' home.
I need to take a moment here to examine the way the storyline skews. From one
ill-considered ratings stunt (Darla's pregnancy) the whole damn' show is about
Connor. Darla being pregnant, Darla giving birth, protecting Connor, kidnapping
Connor, Angel moping about Connor, Connor coming back, Connor insinuating
himself into Team Angel, Connor dispatching Angel to the bottom of the sea,
Connor pretending to help look for him, Connor getting exiled, Connor
protecting Cordy, Connor shagging Cordy, Connor fathering a mystical Rogue
Power ...
The PTB: * sip *
... Connor betraying Team Angel, Connor killing Maggoty Ann, Connor nearly
becoming a mass murderer and Angel taking over W&H to give Connor a better
life, right up until "Origin," where Connor kills Sahjahn and then ...
and then ... showing up for the epic battle with Hambone.
Was this the absolute best use of our limited screen time with the Angelverse?
Never mind. What's done is done. I guess it'd be worthwhile to examine that
stake launcher Connor didn't use especially well for inclusion in Angel's
arsenal, but apart from that ...
"Hi Dad."
Hi Connor.
Welcome to "A New World."