TV is the New Reading

‘Painkiller Jane’ has lots of flash

and edge, but not much substance

“I tried to kill the pain ... but only brought more ...” – Amy Lee

Kristianna Loken is beautiful. She is charismatic, she moves and fights well and can take a hit.

Which is good, because she’s going to need all of her skills to escape SciFi’s new series, the relatively disappointing “Painkiller Jane,” airing Fridays at 9 p.m. on SciFi.

I’ll state upfront I’m unfamiliar with the comic books the series is based on. I’m guessing that makes me more unusual as a SciFi audience member as opposed to the general population. But if you need to be a fan of the comic books in order to enjoy a show, then its target audience is too narrow to begin with.

I’ve only seen the two episodes they’ve aired so far. The pilot episode introduced us to Jane Vasco, a badass drug enforcement agent in some future dystopia recruited to a secret paramilitary operation focused on rounding up mutant humans called “neuros” who manipulate reality with their minds and have many diverse plot-device powers and have all decided as a group, apparently, to use them for evil.

One of these “neuros,” a clairvoyant, can take over people’s motor functions and force them to do her bidding. Another one could help create an army of zombies.

Why? Because they just can.

Not much help

Enter Jane. She’s fully trained to take on these bad guys. Plus, as a result of losing her mother at a young age, Jane can ... regenerate quickly.

Yes. Because that makes all kinds of sense. Other people who are orphaned at a young age and who then don’t develop superpowers just aren’t trying hard enough, apparently. And just imagine how powerful she’d be if she’d lost her father as well.

The arch voiceovers suggest that she lived through the pain of her loss and pain became her best friend. So instead of taking a nice Zoloft, she became an angry young woman with a chip on her shoulder and is suddenly able to heal. From everything.

So when she smashes through thick plate glass and plummets from the 40th floor of a skyscraper, she heals and walks out of the morgue. And when she chases the clairvoyant into the police station and all the cops, under her thrall, pump round after round into her still-pursuing body, she’s still able to bring the clairvoyant down with a single shot.

All of that being said, “Jane” is an acceptable piece of escapist nonsense to enjoy as the week draws to a close. The action sequences are well-photographed, there’s a thrill factor to the gore and violence, and everyone’s gorgeous.

That’s really all you can say for it, though. With its sparse, wooden dialogue and limited, improbable premise, this show doesn’t really merit a whole lot of attention.

Features Editor Terry J. Aman compiles the Best Bets for The Minot Daily News.

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