TV is the New Reading

‘Who Wants to Be a Superhero,’

‘Flash Gordon’ are ... hit and miss

Sci Fi’s graphic novel adaptations this summer are a little hit and miss.

One of them, now in its fourth week, is the second season return of “Who Wants to Be a Superhero?” with legendary comic book artist Stan Lee. The hopefuls this season have performed mighty tasks such as changing a tire and riding a roller coaster and facing down the nefarious “Bee Sting” and her wicked spelling bee while “bee”-set on all sides by, well, bees, and then (holding pretty rigidly to the theme) they are doused with honey.

The heroes have been called into question for their costumes and their performance of various tasks, but mostly the people who have been kicked out are the ones it would be hardest to build a story around. And since the prize in the contest is to be immortalized in a comic book, Lee seems to be weeding out the heroes he’d have the most trouble with, narrative-wise.

Emotionally, the stakes seem a little higher this year. Heading into this week, the Superheroes’ secret lair was broken into and all of their money and secret identities were stolen, along with the pencil Lee drew his first Spiderman comic with. Of course this is all an objective in the next set of tasks they’re going to have to perform on tonight’s show, but put up against last year’s missions, taking on guard dogs and running scavenger hunts, this year’s missions seem a little more personal.

From movie star sweeties and crime-fighting maids to recycling beauties and gadget-happy guards, there’s a solid range of heroes in this year’s collection, and Lee shouldn’t have any trouble building a story around any of them.

‘Flash Gordon’

Then, last week, Sci Fi premiered “Flash Gordon,” which was meant to update the old comic strip storyline and cut the cheese factor somewhat.

I’d say there was some cheese cut alright.

It’s not like I’m really familiar with the story, but there’s a planet Mongo someplace else run by a dictator named Brad the Merciless. I mean, Ming the Merciless. In the comics, Ming used to be a ruthless and mysterious Asian character. I accidentally called him “Brad” because he’s now this middle-aged white guy who may indeed run his entire planet with an iron fist, but still looks about as threatening as, oh, say, anyone in middle management.

Steve “Flash” Gordon, a small-town track star played by Eric Johnson, crosses paths with Ming because he suspects Ming’s kidnapped his father. Flash’s father was a physicist working on something or other to do with interdimensional space travel at the vo-tech school down the street before disappearing 13 years ago. Now there’s all sorts of interdimensional traffic as the aliens arrive seeking to get their hands on his father’s notes, which seem somehow to be encoded in his dad’s wristwatch.

Flash’s old girlfriend Dale Arden is a television reporter who just returned to his hometown where all of these portals are opening and aliens are coming through looking for the watch. At the same time, Flash encounters his father’s old colleague, a geek in a Winnebago who has developed a perfectly useless weapon to counter the alien invasion. Fortunately, the aliens are still getting the hang of invading, too, so there aren’t that many of them.

There’s some traveling back and forth between portals and an alien is turned into goo (by its own weapon, which does work) and there’s a lot of Flash with his shirt off, which isn’t going to hurt ratings but seems gratuitous. From what I understand there was no shortage of that in the original so at least they’re being consistent.

Despite a clear effort to update the story, the storylines and the characters, I’m not convinced that there’s a lot of “there” there. First off, adding a layer of depth to Flash Gordon barely gets you a cardboard cutout. The effects remind me more than a little of the “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers” and where the writing is flat, the “acting” doesn’t help it out much.

Features Editor Terry J. Aman compiles the Best Bets for The Minot Daily News.

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